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When your spouse says hurtful things like, “You’re stupid,” they very well might lack self-esteem and are willing to put you down in an troubled effort to boost their own ego. " Taking cheap shots at your intelligence so they can feel better about themselves is based on degradation," Mike Domitrz, founder of The Date Safe Project, previously told Bustle.

If this is something you've heard from your partner, they aren't the one for you and are probably actually a terrible person. It's emotional abuse if said seriously and continuously. This isn't just a mean thing to say, either. This is one of the worst, most heartless insults out there, and only a truly crappy human being would be comfortable saying hurtful things to someone they love like this.

There are no excuses in the world to say "you're stupid" to any other human being, let alone someone you supposedly love and care about. You're not stupid, and a partner who tells you that you are so is not worth your time. Instead, let your partner get to the curb. “And that doesn’t mean it has to be your preference of who you are.” If your partner makes you feel like you need to change yourself in order to be loved and accepted by them, then they’re not the one. “That can lead you to try to change yourself, to try to lose weight, appear more sexy, or do all these things to yourself when it’s just the other person’s preference,” Overstreet says. There are many more constructive conversations to be had if things have dwindled lately physically, and often, something like this is said just to be mean.Įven more importantly, that hurtful remark can make you question yourself and your appearance. That said, someone who specifically tells you they aren't attracted to you is a jerk, plain and simple. It's normal to have good times and bad, just like anything else. Sure, every couple goes through ups and downs when it comes to physical intimacy, as well as ups and downs in how they feel about each other. If your partner feels the need to tell you they are not attracted to you, either at all or anymore, just go ahead and say bye, because this is awful. If your partner says any of these things to you consistently, then it's time to cut them loose. “If there’s anything else in the relationship that’s unhealthy - maybe they’re not making time for you, maybe you have concerns with trust - and you’re hearing one, two, or three, of these comments, then it’s definitely a huge red flag that you need to do something about it,” she says. And as well as looking at the frequency of the hurtful comments, Overstreet says you should also take into account the overall health of the relationship. If it's something that they're continuing to say, it's a pattern,” Kristie Overstreet, a clinical sexologist, psychotherapist, and host of the podcast Fix Yourself First, tells Elite Daily. The thing is, when your spouse says hurtful things on a consistent basis, with the intent to hurt, then you’re undoubtedly with a bad seed. Saying hurtful things to someone you love is something almost everyone does in a relationship, because we're human. There are some things your partner should never say to you - like, ever - and when we find ourselves in a relationship with someone who does say them, it's usually time to get out. That said, sometimes, we don't always get that. Your romantic partner should be someone you love, someone you can rely on, and someone you trust.